Friday the 13th: The Complete Collection Extras Revealed

According to WBShop.com and Friday the 13th: The Film Franchise website, this is the full list of special features and extras we can expect from the upcoming Friday the 13th: The Complete Collection blu-ray set.  And, according to this, both the original Friday and Jason Goes To Hell will only be available in their R rated, theatrical releases.  That sucks!  Also notice the lack of any new content here that wasn't previously released on prior Deluxe Edition formats.  Nonetheless, here is the full list of special features and extras on the upcoming Friday the 13th: The Complete Collection blu-ray box set:


Friday The 13th
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Commentary by Director Sean S. Cunningham with Cast and Crew
- Friday the 13th Reunion
- Fresh Cuts: New Tales from Friday the 13th
- The Man Behind the Legacy: Sean S. Cunningham
- Lost Tales from Camp Blood - Part 1
- The Friday the 13th Chronicles
- Secrets Galore Behind the Gore
- Theatrical Trailer

Friday The 13th Part II
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Inside "Crystal Lake memories"
- Friday's Legacy: Horror Conventions
- Lost Tales from Camp Blood - Part 2
- Jason Forever (used on 2004 release/Best Buy bonus disc)
- Theatrical Trailer

Friday The 13th Part III
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- 3D and 2D versions of film
- 2 Pairs of 3D glasses
- Fresh Cuts: 3D Terror
- Legacy of the Mask
- Slasher Films: Going for the Jugular
- Lost tales From Camp Blood, Part 3
- Theatrical Trailer

Friday The 13th: The Final Chapter
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Commentary by the director, screenwriter and editor
- "Fan" Commentary
- Vintage Featurettes
- Deleted Scenes
- Original Theatrical Trailer

Friday The 13th: A New Beginning
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Commentary by Director/Co-Screenwriter with Cast and Crew
- Vintage Featurettes

Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Commentary by Director with Cast and Crew
- Vintage Featurettes
- Slashed Scenes
- Original Theatrical Teaser Trailer

Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- "Killer" Commentary by Director and Actors
- Vintage Featurettes
- Slashed Scenes
- Original Theatrical Trailer

Friday The 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Commentary by Director
- "Killer Commentary by Actors Scott Reeves, Jensen Dagget and Kane Hodder
- Vintage Featurettes
- Slashed Scenes
- Original Theatrical Trailer

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Commentary by Adam Marcus and Dean Lorey
- TV Version Alternate Scenes

Jason X
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Commentary by Jim Isaac, Todd Farmer and Noel Cunningham
- Vintage Featurettes
- Theatrical Trailer

Freddy vs. Jason
- R Rated, Theatrical Release
- Commentary by Director Ronny Yu, Robert Englund (Freddy) and Ken Kirzinger (Jason)
- Featurette Gallery Covering the Film's Development, Art Direction, Makeup Effects, Stuntwork and More
- Visual Effects Exploration with the Creative Team
- My Summer Vacation: A visit to Camp Hackenslash
- Ill NiÃno How Can I Live Music Video
- Deleted Scenes

Friday The 13th (2009)
- Theatrical and Extended Cuts
- Rebirth of Jason Voorhees
- Interactive PIP with Trivia Track
- Hacking Back/Slashing Forward
- The 7 Best Kills Extra
- Additional Scenes
- BD live: My Commentary

Friday the 13th Killer Bonus Disc
- Friday the 13th Chronicles: Part I - VIII
- Secrets Galore Behind The Gore (3 Part Featurette)
- Original Trailers - Part I - VIII

I had a couple people ask me if I knew whether or not JGTH in particular would be made available in it's unrated version, and I had just assumed that it would, considering that it always had been in the past.  But, again, according to this list the answer is no.  I would love to hear feedback regarding this list of extras and the decision to release the original Friday and JGTH only in their R rated versions.

Those interested can still pre-order the set for 70 dollars directly from WBShop.com, although I have been told that the promo code I shared in my previous blog (WBAFSAVE10) is no longer valid.  If so, you can still pre-order the set for 80 dollars, which is 10 dollars cheaper than Amazon's pre-order price.

PRE-ORDER FRIDAY THE 13TH COLLECTION BLU-RAY BOX SET FOR 70.97!

Want the opportunity to pre-order the Friday the 13th Collection Blu-ray box set for 70.97? Well you can by simply following this link to WBshop.com. You can pre-order the set for 90.97, but you get 10 dollars off just by simply adding the box set to your cart. When you add the promo code WBAFSAVE10 at check out, you save an additional 10 dollars, making your total 70.97. Now I've been fairly wishy-washy about this set, but jumped at the opportunity to pre-order it for that price and I definitely wanted to pass the word along. Make sure you do the same! Oh, and you get free 3-5 business day shipping. Not too shabby.

My Favorite Cult Movie Directors

It seemed apropos to do a blog discussing my favorite cult movie directors, considering that the topic of last week's episode of THE SAUSAGE FACTORY was none other than...wait for it...cult movies.  But I wanted to go a little more in depth here and detail a few of my favorite cult movie directors individually.  First, of course, I have to be clear in my definition of exactly what a "cult movie director" is.  A cult movie director, in my opinion, eschews mainstream standards for their own, oftentimes less mainstream and/or more-often-than-not less than politically correct, subject matter and have garnered a following of loyal devotees who admire and respect their dedication to a less glamorous, less financially rewarding but far more artistically rewarding form of cinema.  In other words, there's plenty of people out there who would prefer watching movies about outcasts, social degenerates, perverts, fiends and the perpetually inept than a shallow, glossy and overly bloated summer blockbuster in which a bunch of stuff gets blown up real good!  The following filmmakers have stuck to their artistic guns and, though some have flirted with mainstream success to varying extents, have remained on the celebrated outskirts of popular filmmaking.

1. Jim Jarmusch.  I first discovered Jarmusch through his film Dead Man (1995), the story of an unassuming accountant (played by Johnny Depp) in the 19th century west who finds himself wanted for murder and, with the aid of an Indian guide named Nobody, embarks on a journey into the spirit world to evade bounty hunters hot on his trail.  It's quirky, chaotic, violent and hilarious.  It's also deep and philosophical and strangely moving.  I followed that film with Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai (1999), the story of a (clearly insane) urban hitman who lives his life in strict accordance to the codes of the ancient samurai.  Like Dead Man, Ghost Dog is quirky, violent and hilarious.  It is also deep, philosophical and very moving.  Jarmusch's minimalist filmmaking style and penchant for writing wonderfully flawed characters allows his protagonists (and their eccentricities) to shine on screen.  In a world of inflated budgets and computer generated everything, Jarmusch proves time and time again that less is more.  Other noteworthy Jarmusch films: Broken Flowers (2005) and Night on Earth (1991).

2. Fred Dekker.  I can't think of a more cult director than Fred Dekker. Dekker's directorial debut, Night of the Creeps (1986), was an ode to the sci-fi/fantasy/horror movies of his youth, featuring parasitic alien slugs that infest and reproduce inside their host's brains and control them like murderous zombies.  It's up to two college losers and a burned-out, two-fisted, hard-drinking, one-liner spewing detective (played by Tom Atkins) to save the human race.  The movie was released to little fanfare and enjoyed a very limited theatrical run.  Dekker followed Creeps the very next year with The Monster Squad (1987), a movie that pits a group of monster-movie-loving kids against the classic Universal monsters.  Dekker deserves a special place on this list for having directed two cult favorites in as many years.  Both films suffered similar fates at the box office, as neither film was easily marketable by their respective studios, were met with lukewarm reviews by critics and were largely ignored by audiences.  Both films eventually garnered cult statuses, particularly The Monster Squad, by way of VHS in the late 80's, making it a staple of sleep-overs and movie nights with friends.  The fact that The Monster Squad is a movie that both kids and adults can equally enjoy deserves extra kudos. Dekker continued his career by directing RoboCop 3 (1993), another flop that has its own, admittedly much smaller, following, and has unfortunately not been back behind the camera since.

3. Abel Ferrara. Ferrara is another director with several cult titles under his belt, most notably Ms. 45 (1981) and Bad Lieutenant (1992).  Ferrara's films feature indelibly flawed characters, more often than not, on a bullet train to self-destruction, juxtaposed against a tapestry of religious concepts and imagery, set amid the vast urban squalor of New York City.  My favorite film of Ferrara's is Bad Lieutenant, featuring Harvey Keitel as a drug addled New York detective investigating the rape of a nun while frantically trying to collect cash to pay off his gambling debt.  The film is rife with deeply disturbing moments, graphic sexuality, drug use and violence.  During the course of the film, Keitel's character, already struggling with his faith, sees the opportunity to solve the rape case as a means to redemption.  The movie, along with Keitel's powerful performance, are unforgettable.  Ferrara has dabbled in the mainstream, having directed several episodes of "Miami Vice" in the 80's and the big budget Body Snatchers remake in 1993.  Other noteworthy Ferrara films include: King of New York (1990), The Funeral (1996) and The Addiction (1995).

4. David Lynch. Nobody does weird like David Lynch.  Lynch has made a career out of strobe lighting, flowing red curtains and surreal circumstances, visuals and characters.  Lynch has enjoyed just as must critical and commercial praise as he has critical and commercial disdain.  His films are not easy to follow and, at times, seem to be weird simply for weirdness's sake.  Lynch has enjoyed critical and commercial successes with his television series, "Twin Peaks" and critically acclaimed films such as Mulholland Drive (2001) and The Straight Story (1999).  The latter being a Disney produced feature.  I know, Disney and David Lynch?  It certainly doesn't sound like a match made in Heaven, but the film itself is quite straight-forward in terms of plot, but with enough of Lynch's own odd touches to make it indelibly his own.  My two personal favorite Lynch films are Blue Velvet (1986) and Lost Highway (1997).  Both defy explanation in terms of story-line and in terms of being indescribably fascinating films to experience.  Dennis Hopper's demented performance in Blue Velvet must be seen to be believed and Lost Highway is the kind of film to be experienced alone, in a darkened and silent room.

5. David Cronenberg. I used to say David Cronenberg is "an acquired taste".  Then I acquired it.  Croneberg began his career with low budget exploitation films such as Shivers (1975) and Rabid (1977), both of which enjoy a healthy cult following of their own due to their underlying subtext of sexual revolution.  Cronenberg graduated into bigger budgeted fare such as The Fly (1986), Videodrome (1983) and Dead Ringers (1988).  Cronenberg's films have been referred to as "body horror", a term in reference to his penchant for stories involving bodily mutation and strange medical conditions.  Another common re-occurring theme in Cronenberg's films is human sexuality.  Sex, mutation, strange medical conditions.  Now that's David Cronenberg!  Cronenberg has also flirted with mainstream success and acceptance.  He directed The Dead Zone, based on the best-selling novel by Stephen King, in 1983 and followed that with the big budget remake of  The Fly three years later.  Cronenberg has enjoyed both critical and commercial success with more recent releases such as A History of Violence (2005) and Eastern Promises (2007). My personal favorite David Cronenberg film is Crash (1996), a film about a cult of broken and scarred car crash victims who've turned the physical act of a car accident into an aphrodisiac.  The film features cold, emotionally distant and incredibly fascinating characters, with absolutely no redeemable qualities.  The fusion of sex and violence, of bodily dismemberment and sexual union, is indelibly Cronenberg.  The film was released to a hail of bad press and negative reviews from critics.  Viewers got up and walked out on its screening at Cannes.  The MPAA eventually slapped the film with the dreaded NC-17 rating due to its fusion of unabashed sexuality and raw violence and, despite the ruinous implications of such a rating, Cronenberg refused to cut the film and re-submit it for a lesser rating and a potentially wider release.  Other notable Cronenberg films include: Scanners (1981), Naked Lunch (1991) and eXistinZ (1999).  Long live the new flesh!

6. Richard Linklater.  Linklater is another director that started in the indie scene, helming not one, but three consecutive cult movies: Slacker (1991), Dazed and Confused (1993) and Before Sunrise (1995), making him both a cult and indie movie darling.  Linklater went on to enjoy mainstream success with such big-budgeted titles as School of Rock (2003) and Bad News Bears (2005).  But it's Linklater's smaller scale but far more cerebral films like Waking Life and Tape (both released in 2001) that garnered him critical acclaim and cult status.  My personal favorite Linklater films are Dazed and Confused and Before Sunrise.  Dazed is a hilarious and hopeful ode to Linklater's high school years.  Before Sunrise is the story of a young man traveling through Europe who spends the night with an exotic French woman he meets on a train.  They spend their one special night together bonding over talks of life, love, spirituality, sex and so much more.  It seems like such a truly unique experience, having an entire movie's running length spent following two characters through the picturesque streets of Venice and eavesdropping on their conversations.  The film feels unscripted and the chemistry between Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy is substantial.  The film is open-ended, hopeful, but ultimately sad.  As perfect as these two are for each other, you know their one perfect night will be their only and last.  It is undeniably moving.  Linklater, however, directed two sequels to Before Sunrise: Before Sunset (2004) and Before Midnight (2013).  I have yet to see the latter. The former, though it feels a bit unnecessary, is a worthy sequel.

pizowell: Portrait of a Food Poisoning Victim

As human beings I feel that it's important that we cherish new experiences.  The daily doldrums of life can become somewhat overbearing in a very passive aggressive kind of way, weighing you down, and time, already fleeting as it is, seems only to pass exponentially quicker.  It's in our nature to covet the status quo and sneer at change.  It's why billions are served at McDonald's daily.  One Big Mac is chemically engineered to taste just like every other Big Mac you've ever eaten.  There's a bland sort of comfort in that.  But I've grown to love new experiences.  I enjoy trying new things.  It's exciting!  For instance, not long ago I tried calamari for the first time.  That's squid.  And I loved it!  I will always cherish that experience, not only because I tried something new, but because I was with friends, in a town that I'd never visited before, in a state I'd only visited a few times in the past, and we were all having a good time, and I'd eaten something as seemingly disgusting as squid...and I liked it!  I felt so enlightened, so world-weary.

But only a few months after this great new experience, I had the misfortune of running afoul of another that, until then, I'd only heard spoken of with dreadful recall by prior victims.  I'm talking about food poisoning!  I had had a brush with a minor case of food poisoning some years back.  The culprit was Taco Bell in this instance.  The experience resulted in a sleepless night and my only experiences to date with losing consciousness, both instance of which occurred on a trek from my bathroom to my bedroom, probably a twenty foot distance at the most.  I remember coming to and feeling something rubbing on my forehead.  I then realized that it was the carpet in the my bedroom.  I had collapsed onto all fours and was rubbing my heavy head on the carpet, from side to side, like restless windshield wipers.  I managed to get myself up onto one knee, then came the darkness.  I came to a second time beside my bed, lying atop my computer which I had dragged off my computer desk.  This was a brand new computer, I might add, a very expensive brand new computer.  I finally managed to pull myself into bed.  I could feel the carpet burn on my knees and elbows.  I was exhausted, pouring sweat.  My heart raced.  I was in bad shape.  But I remember feeling so relieved to finally be in bed.  So comforted by the feeling of the cool sheets on my cold, clammy skin.  The relief was overwhelming.  I fell asleep and in the morning I had miraculously recovered, with only some minor carpet burn on my knees.  As bad as the experience was, I felt relieved that it wasn't a full-blown case of food poisoning, including terrible nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, cramping, pain, etc.  

Then came a seemingly ordinary Saturday afternoon a couple weeks ago.  My girlfriend and I decided to stop at one of our new favorite restaurants in the area for lunch.  It was actually my idea to dine there.  I recall now being almost giddy about it as a matter of fact.  The restaurant had been another recently enjoyed new experience and we'd eaten there several times since.  Up to this point, the food there had been exceptional: great appetizers, great steak, great bread, a nice atmosphere, etc.  The restaurant had quickly become my favorite place to dine out in the area.  It being lunch time, I ordered a simple sandwich, a chicken club, another first.  I enjoyed my lunch and the time I spent with my girlfriend, discussing upcoming vacation plans, fun trips, holidays, etc.  A swell time.  It wasn't until later that evening that I first began to feel...off.  I still had my appetite and enjoyed a nice dinner, but something just wasn't right.  I felt tired.  I just wanted to lay down and so I did.  Over the course of the next hour or so I began to feel worse and worse.  Soon there was a distinct discomfort in my stomach that grew to a rumbling pain, then came diarrhea, and, finally, intense nausea.  For the remainder of that night I was as sick as I'd ever been in my life.  No sleep was had, for just as I felt the sandman sprinkling his magic sleep dust into my eyes, the trolls in my stomach would begin again their vicious battle dance, poking their jagged spears into my stomach and intestines, radiating pain throughout.  I would rush to the bathroom as quickly as possible.  I would then spend the next several minutes violently throwing up and having explosive diarrhea.  But it wasn't just the nausea, the vomiting and the diarrhea that took its awful toll.  It was the extreme exhaustion, the dehydration, the pain and hounding, merciless torment of uncontrollable sickness.  It really sucked.

At last, I slept.  When morning came, I felt a little better.  The nausea and stomach pain had ceased.  But exhausted I was.  More exhausted than I think I'd ever been.  Most of that Sunday I don't recall, as I slept it away. Monday morning I felt my appetite return.  I ate a little.  I drank enough water to fill an Olympic size pool.  And yet, I was still not quite right. The toll the event had taken on me continued to linger.  I was light-headed, dizzy.  I would stand and feel the earth shift beneath my feet.  I felt woozy and adrift.  First my stomach, now my head.  The dehydration had done a number on me.  My girlfriend brought me bottles of sports drinks and I drank them in rapid succession.  The next day I drank half a dozen or more bottles in a rainbow of fruit flavors.  Slowly, I began to feel like myself again.

I had survived 32 years on this planet without experiencing food poisoning and I certainly hope to never experience it again.  If anything the experience has made me wiser, but unfortunately it has also made me wary of ever ordering chicken at restaurants again.  And I love chicken!  If you've had an experience with food poisoning, please feel free to share it. But if you, dear reader and friend, have an encounter of your own with food poisoning in the future, I'd recommend remaining near a bathroom, having a puke bucket never more than an arm's length away and keep plenty of sports drinks handy.

My Thoughts on the Friday the 13th Collection Blu-ray Box Set

I would love to hear some feedback on this release, either here or in the comments section of the video.  The ultimate collection or just another shameless cash-grab?  

Amazon is currently offering the set to pre-order for $90.97.  You can pre-order this set by clicking here.

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Excision (2012) Movie Review

Coming of age tales about the alienated, outcast and oftentimes disturbed certainly aren't anything new.  It's no wonder that the horror movie community embraces these sort of titles, not only for their dark subject matter and socially awkward protagonists, but for the fact that we who love horror share an affinity for a genre so many never have, nor never will understand, and therefore by popular perception we too are alienated, outcasts and disturbed.

Such is the story of Excision and its protagonist, Pauline (played by AnnaLynne McCord), a young woman whose fantasies revolve around necrophilia and dismemberment.  It's no wonder she aspires to be a surgeon.  She's odd, she knows it and she's damn proud of it.  Pauline is the product of an overbearing mother (Traci Lords) and a father who's good intentions were met with such utter disdain from his wife that he seemingly tuned out long ago.  Pauline's only balance is her younger sister, Grace, a debutante to be, with a life threatening illness.  Despite their obvious differences, Pauline would do anything to save her younger sister as her condition soon begins to worsen.  This ultimately culminates in a disturbing finale in which Pauline executes a homemade surgical procedure in the family garage.

Writer/director Richard Bates, Jr. creates a world fraught with dread (you just know it's not going to end well for anyone), but with just enough quirk and black humor to keep it an interesting, almost warm sort of dread.  At one point, Pauline approaches "the popular boy" and asks him to take her virginity as if she were requesting a stick of gum.  She just chooses not mention that she wants this undertaking to occur while she's menstruating.  AnnaLynne McCord delivers a stripped down and wholly unglamorous performance.  This definitely isn't 90210.  McCord and co-star Traci Lords seem to battle over just who's stealing the show.  The best moments in the film occur when they share the screen.  Their tenuous mother/daughter relationship is delightfully uncomfortable to watch.  Among the extended cast include John Waters, Malcolm McDowell and Ray Wise in small roles.

Excision takes its viewer down a dark path.  Granted, it's one that horror fans have tread before, but the performances, black humor and bloody finale are worth the price of a rental alone.

Buy Excision on Blu-ray by clicking here.

Silent Night (2012) Movie Review

The holiday slasher movie, Silent Night, wants nothing more than to be a throwback to classic 80's slasher fare, but with a kind of winking, self-referential charm and glibness intended to let the viewer know that they're in on the joke with you (in this case the joke is, unfortunately, on you).  Yeah, it's over-the-top in the bloodshed department (we get a topless girl forced kicking and screaming into a wood chipper) and there's the prerequisite boobage (see above), but the movie severely lacks that intangible fun factor that made so many 80's slashers classic and is, more-so, a fairly witless and charm-free zone that makes it's scant 94 minute run time feel much, much longer.  

The synopsis on the back of the DVD would lead one to believe that Silent Night was a sequel, or at least in some way related to the original Silent Night, Deadly Night released in 1984, a film that was quickly pulled from theaters midst a storm of controversy.  The only thing Silent Night (2012) shares with the original film is its plot.  A Santa-clad psycho is out to wreak havoc on a small town (this is compounded by the fact that seemingly every male in the town dresses as Santa on Christmas Eve) and punish all those he judges to be "naughty".  This milieu of degenerates includes adulterers, pornographers, coke dealers, a crooked priest and even a bitchy 14 year old girl.  Oh, my!  The movie also shares the most memorable kill from the original SNDN.  I in no way want to herald the original 1984 film to a status its not due.  It's not a great movie.  Not even close.  But the 1984 film had that intangible quality that a lot of early 80's slashers seemed to have in abundance.  Exactly what that was isn't easy to explain.  I'm talking about a kind of odd purity and a complete lack of cynicism that made you take the movies seriously, regardless of how corny and/or dumb they were.  They were unabashedly bloody, and so what if they objectified women and seemed to revel in the fact that they made the fairer sex such entertaining victims for their predominately male audience to view butchered.  Silent Night (2012) wants to capture that kind of senseless brutality and filter it through a tongue-in-cheek hue that falls incredibly flat.  Everything about the movie is...well, flat.  Lifeless.  It's the slasher movie equivalent of watching paint dry.  

It's a shame good actors the likes of Malcolm McDowell, Donal Logue and (more often than not) Jaime King are associated.  Their performances are embarrassing, but you can't blame them for phoning it in.  They really have very little to work with here.  Even for a slasher movie the plot is toilet paper thin (think single ply).  The characters make cardboard look like tempered steel.  There are no surprises.  There is no tension.  Not a shock was stirring, not even the most disposable boo scare in sight.  The climactic axe battle at the end sums up the entire movie: clumsy and boring.  Are you still with me here?  In other words I'm saying the movie is dull, painfully and remarkably and unequivocally dull.  This is a serious lump of coal in horror fans collective Christmas stockings.  Avoid.

An Open Letter to Treyarch/Activision RE: Black Ops 2

Having often defended Treyarch for being the only Call of Duty developer that "listens to the community" and seemed to have a vested interest and honest sincerity toward providing us with the best possible gaming experience, it is with a note of sorrow that I write this. It is a sorrow, however, that is quickly and loudly trumped by a cacophony of anger that swiftly emanates from my soul upon playing Black Ops 2 for any length of time.

Granted, I understand the immense pressure and time constraints that you must work under in order to churn out a "new" Call of Duty title every (or least every other) year.  Most gamers in the Call of Duty community also understand this and therefore expect that new COD titles will be released upon the public with certain flaws.  The games are rushed, yes.  Beta tested?  No.  We can forgive a broken spawn system, over-powered weapons, game-changing perks, glitches, etc. when a developer acknowledges the shortcoming and moves quickly to initiate a fix.

The most recent patch for Black Ops 2 (yeah, the game has been out for a month and has been patched how many times already!?) nerfed all submachine guns, several of the assault rifles and score streaks, including a buff to the score streak requirements for a simple UAV, because, as Treyarch's Game Design Developer, David Vonderhaar, tweeted, "nobody likes UAV SPAMMING".  Really!?  You're buffing the score streak requirement for, of all things, a UAV!?!?  Let's forget the fact that the spawn system and lag compensation in BO2 are hands-down the worst in franchise history.  The lag compensation is a particular and painful detriment to the game that makes it more often than not utterly unplayable.  But Treyarch decides to buff the score requirements for a UAV.... 

Lag and, more recently, lag compensation is something that Call of Duty gamers have had to deal with for some time.  Despite the fact that the Call of Duty series makes Activision billions of dollars each year,  they seem bent on taking the low rent approach to multiplayer gaming and continue to force gamers to play on borrowed connections.  Without spending too much time trying to explain the peer to peer hosting system, I liken it to a torrent downloading site, or, for those of my generation, Napster.  When you download a music or video file from a torrent site, you're downloading it from a user or a group of users who have previously downloaded the file to their hard drive.  When you're playing Call of Duty on the peer to peer hosting system, you are connected to one player who is selected as host.  This is a player with whom you and every other player in that particular lobby share a connection to the game.  If this player has a bad connection, then you have a bad connection.  If this player is in a different part of the country or a different country entirely, then you have a bad connection.  If this player is on the other team, then you are at a distinct disadvantage.  Here is where lag compensation supposedly comes into the play.  Lag compensation was designed to keep the playing field level.  In other words, no more host advantage.  Instead of just sharing a connection, you would share LAG!  YAY!  It's online gaming's version of a sexually transmitted disease.  Well, maybe not that extreme, but lag on Black Ops 2 has reached epidemic status nevertheless.  I first heard the term "lag compensation" while playing Modern Warfare 3, but can't say I really experienced it.  If so, I certainly didn't notice much of a change in the gameplay experience.  One becomes accustomed to a certain level of lag after having played peer to peer hosted titles like Modern Warfare 2 as religiously as I did.  In Black Ops 2, the lag compensation is so intense, so epic at times that it's actually caused my connection to drop out entirely in the midst of a one-on-one confrontation with an enemy player.  Now that's serious lag compensation!  The one thing Treyarch did right with the original Black Ops (at least for PC) was to implement dedicated servers.  Yeah, there were a lot of other issues that resigned that game to irrelevancy about two months into its run, but at least we had dedicated servers providing a level playing field and as little to no lag as possible.

If it were just me, I would chalk it up to poor connection quality on my end.  But seeing and hearing so many gamers complaining about the lag, it's no anomaly.  The problem is wide-spread and effecting the entire community.  It's far more frustrating when considering how good a game Black Ops 2 has the potential of being.  That one rare game out of four or five with a half way decent connection is what keeps me coming back to it.  This game can be fun!  The operative word there is "can".  But all I hear on Twitter from Treyarch is patches and fixes for weapon and score streak balancing.  The fact that Treyarch spent the time and effort to buff the UAV just shows that you have seriously lost the plot. Your priorities are, simply put, out of whack.  If there's nothing that can be done to remedy or at least soften the blow lag compensation inflicts on the gaming community, then just say it.  Apologize.  Plan for the next installment of the series to have dedicated servers or an improved (LOL!) peer to peer hosting and matchmaking system.  Call of Duty may be the best shooter on the market, but it's not the only one.   Remember what happened with Guitar Hero, Activison?  You need us more than we need you.  You can get away with releasing one high-priced but inferior item, but two?  We already have a sour taste in our mouths and a chip on our shoulder.  We're tired of your status quo approach to the Call of Duty series.  You've taken for granted that we buy your latest COD titles in droves and line your pockets and the pockets of your share holders with billions of dollars every year.  Sooner or later someone will get it right.  A combination of great gameplay that is presented on a truly equal playing field.  Whether that's a Call of  Duty title or not is up to you.  Whether or not the Call of Duty series survives is up to us, and your current batting average ain't that great.

Deftones' "Koi No Yokan" Review

Only Deftones would give their latest release and seventh studio record a title with no English translation.  The closest English interpretation would be "love at first sight", though the Japanese proverb doesn't apply to the actual feeling of love, but rather refers to the knowledge that a future love is inevitable.  I explain this only because the breadth of the title, the mystery of its meaning, perfectly exemplifies the Deftone's signature musical style, one of ever-shifting moods and mind-bending soundscapes, wavering from blunt force trauma to soaring, almost ethereal grooves, back to a melancholy swooning that's damn near delicate.  This almost bi-polar approach to music making is what has garnered Deftones legions of die hard fans and critical praise, with the band often being compared to such critical darlings as My Bloody Valentine and The Cure.  Frontman Chino Moreno's vocal style and lyrical approach also goes hand-in-hand with the title.  His breathy voice shape-shifts from whispers to roars, and his vocals are oftentimes sensual and abstract, leaving the music wide open for interpretation and oblique enough to propose a multitude of meanings.

Fans of Deftones have come to expect the unexpected from the band, and Koi No Yokan is no exception.  "Swerve City" opens the record with a bludgeoning guitar riff from Stephen Carpenter, accompanied by hard-hitting percussion provided by Abe Cunningham, while Moreno's voice pulses and echoes everywhere like a symphony of ghosts crying out from beyond.  "Romantic Dreams" and "Rosemary" are steeped in a beautifully muddy arrangement of ringing guitar and pounding drums while Frank Delgado provides a brooding atmosphere of sound dense enough to choke you.  Love songs they are, but no less neck-breaking.  Delgado's keyboard work in particular takes the music to staggering new heights.  "Tempest" and "Entombed" soar like rocket ships into space.  Both songs are so meticulously crafted and densely textured they're impossible not to utterly succumb to.  Deftones certainly don't abandon the thunder on Koi No Yokan.  "Leathers" has a kind of wanton, dangerous urgency, with Moreno flatly chanting "wear your insides on the outside, show your enemy what you look like".  "Poltergeist" shifts from what seems like a lover's spat to Moreno moaning almost sarcastically that "I love you to death, like you love this game".  And despite all the shifting moods and dense textures the songs boast, the record doesn't feel unfocused in the least.  If anything this is Deftone's most even-feeling record since White Pony, another masterpiece of revolving moods and musicianship, and yet manages to remain focused while maintaining a merciless hold on the listener's attention.

Considering the breadth and depth of their sound, Deftones have made a career of creating music perfect for any mood you're in.  The musical textures and soundscapes on Koi No Yokan are some of their most ambitious to date.  Whether you want to be bludgeoned about the head, taken into outer space or lulled into a dream, Koi No Yokan is your all purpose guide to that and more.  The riffs are catchy, the beats abound and the hooks are undeniable.  Deftones can attribute their longevity to the fact that they've never been comfortable with labels and instead of finding a formula and sticking to it, they've continued to explore and expand musically.  Their newest effort is their most accomplished yet.  

Purchase Koi No Yokan by clicking HERE

The Human Centipede Review

The Human Centipede is a movie that must be experienced.  It has to be seen to be believed.  I say this only due to the fact that until the other day I had not seen the movie, but I had HEARD everything about it.  Yeah, EVERYTHING.  But hearing and seeing are two very dissimilar senses, particularly when it comes to a movie like The Human Centipede.

The movie was released to a hail of controversy and curiosity.  The subject matter was, in its favor, original, but even more so risque, unflinching.  What many in the horror community call "hardcore horror".  I eschewed seeing the movie for the longest time due to this.  I'd been suckered into so much over-hyped and ultimately flat foreign fare that I expected The Human Centipede to be more of the same.  Don't get me wrong, the movie is no masterpiece.  FAR, far from it.  The movie masquerades itself as a deep psychological portrait of a madman, and on some small level it is.  On a much greater level, however, its a torture porn that relies on simple shock value to assault the audience and test our gag reflex.  The characters aren't your typical dimwitted horror movie cannon fodder, either.  They are on a whole new level of insipid.  You hate the characters for their stupidity.  I say hate the writer.  The character's complete lack of simple common sense is pretty astounding.  You can forgive quirky dialogue in a foreign film, as much of it can be chalked up to a barrier in translation.  But stupid is stupid, regardless of nationality. 

I will say this for the the movie, its fairly well made and the acting from Deiter Laser, who portrays Dr. Heiter with such diabolical relish that you can't help but be drawn into the movie by his wild-eyed, brash performance alone.  There's nothing in the way of character development here.  You simply feel bad for the characters considering their "predicament".  The last act of the movie is primarily comprised of one character yelling in Japanese, Dr. Heiter cackling, and the two female leads muffled cries.  I do mean muffled.  Then the movie just sort of ends.  A fitting end when you think about it.  There's no resolution, but then there's really no plot to speak of to resolve.

I enjoyed the movie.  God help me, but it was pretty damn entertaining.  Sure, I felt like I needed to bathe afterward and admitting that I enjoyed watching it certainly doesn't illicit a feeling of profound pride.  I found it on Netflix and decided to give it a few minutes to see what happened.  What the hell, I thought.  Not long thereafter I realized I was actually wrapped up in the movie and enjoying every minute of it, not just on a shock value level (though, admittedly, that's most of this movie's charm, and I use the word 'charm' loosely), but it was actually kind of suspenseful.  The Human Centipede succeeds in turning the viewer's screws and getting them invested in what's happening, even it's making them sick to their stomach.  That alone is a major accomplishment in my book.

Basket Case 3: The Progeny DVD Review

Freakishness abounds in Frank Henenlotter's third - and to date final - entry in the Basket Case series, which finds Belial and his long suffering brother, Duane (played again with a kind of absurdly endearing panache by Kevin Van Hentenryck), on the road with a busload of Granny Ruth's "eccentrics" to "an understanding" doctor in Ohio to prep for the birth of Belial's PROGENY.  Needless to say, this birth(s) will have severe complications.

Those familiar with writer/director Henenlotter's oddball sense of humor, with one-liners like, ""She's poppin'em out like Pez candies!" or "You're gonna need a bigger basket" and affinity for the disgusting (see: Brain Damage and Frankenhooker) will have a blast with Basket Case 3 for its over-the-top (and oftentimes pretty darn good make-up effects, particularly during Belial's siege of the sheriff's office), cheesy acting and Henenlotter's tendency to air on the side of the absurd.  Henenlotter does a nice job humanizing the colorful cast of "freaks" and lowering the "normals" to the level of ignorant degenerates who deserve their bloody comeuppance. 

Basket Case 3 is, in the end, an orchestra of freaks conducting a beautiful symphony of ooze, goo, puss and blood.  See it.  Extra special kudos for the musical number, "Personality" sung with much gusto by Granny Ruth, played with far more gusto by Annie Ross.

The DVD released by Synapse Films has no special features to speak of, save for the theatrical trailer.  The picture and sound quality are both top notch.  Fans of the movie should definitely acquire this release.

Watch my review of Synapse Film's Blu-ray Special Edition of FRANKENHOOKER here.

Visit Synapse Films official site here.