Desert Island Top 5: Television Series

Let's face it.  Television, for the most part, sucks.  Series creators and network execs alike seem to have a very limited imagination.  Just channel surf through the major networks during prime time.  You get three cop shows, two legal shows and at least one "reality" show.  If it weren't for these five television series, I'd never turn my TV on.

5. The X-Files.  This was the first "must see" show for me and one I diligently watched as a lad.  The ongoing and ever bizarre adventures of two FBI agents - one a believer, the other a skeptic - could be appreciated by fans of cop dramas as well as sci-fi, horror and fantasy geeks alike.  Whether they were investigating alien abductions, murderous mutants, or any other myriad of evil forces plaguing mankind, everything was a fascinating and deeply-rooted conspiracy.  The series went on way too long and spun off two decent movies, but it's the series' first few seasons that made me a believer.

4. Sons of Anarchy.  Think Hamlet meets the Hell's Angels and you have Sons of Anarchy.  The show focuses on a gun-running motor cycle gang.  The cast is huge, comprised of fine actors and expertly written characters.  The plotting is byzantine, peeling away layer upon layer of character dysfunction and upheaval within the gang's ranks.  The show both glamorizes and condemns the outlaw lifestyle.  It's a brief, bloody existence, but - BY GOD - does it make for riveting television!  It's edge-of-your-seat entertainment, having already established that main characters can meet their bloody demise at any moment.  It is, currently, the best show on television.

3. Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.  Here's an idea.  Let's take a failed movie and turn it into a weekly television series.  Don't think it will work?  Well, it did, like gangbusters!  Joss Whedon took his vision of a vampire slaying teenage girl and turned it into a cultural phenomena and helped launch a fledgling network in the process.  The show sported fantastic writing and a great ensemble cast.  Buffy juggled her duties as vampire slayer with the perils of growing up in a most entertaining and relate-able way.  High school is hell; she's in love with a guy from the wrong side of the tracks (yeah, he's a vampire); and all the demons she's obligated to face are symbolic of the obstacles we all face(d) on the path to adulthood.  The lasting impact of the show and the continued devotion from its fans spawned a comic book series that continues the Buffy legacy well over a decade after the series last aired.

2. The Simpsons.  What can I say about The Simpsons that hasn't already been said?  The fact that it's one of the longest running series in television history is no fluke.  Year after year, The Simpsons have been consistently both hilarious and heartfelt in their depiction of family dysfunction.  The animated series has been imitated time and time again, and has enjoyed, since the beginning, some of the best comedic writing on television.  The show has brought me to tears countless times with its brilliant blend of both slapstick and subtle humor.  Whenever The Simpsons do take their final bow, the show will be remembered as one of, if not the, best series in television history.

1. The Office (US).  Who in their right mind would want to watch a documentary about a group of office workers at a mid-range paper supply company in Scranton, PA?  Enough people to keep the series going for nine seasons, that's how many.  Enter the world of the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company, a small work space with big conflicts among its colorful cast of characters, led by deluded boss Michael Scott.  The series highlights the little things and pokes fun at the minutia that makes up our lives.  The series features one of the finest ensemble casts in television history.  The writing staff, many of whom double as cast members, bring the ego clashes, love triangles and all the other seemingly mundane details to life with an incredible eye, dissecting the trivial to find the humor and heart beneath.  I've seen all of the series' nearly 200 episodes at least twice.  It's like having dinner with a group of old friends.  Though you inevitably bring up the same old stories you've shared time and time again, they never really get old and you never really get tired of sharing them.

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Share your own Desert Island Top 5 Television Series list in the comments section below.

DISCLAIMER: Before you starting yelling at me about Breaking Bad, I will get around to watching it at some point.

Vote to Save Your Local Drive-In

Honda recently launched "Project Drive-In", an initiative aimed at saving a dying piece of classic Americana: the drive-in movie theater.  There are only an estimated 300-400 remaining drive-in theaters across the country, and as the studios force theaters to abandon traditional 35mm film prints and projectors for its digital counterpart, that number could significantly decline over the following months.  Multiplexes and traditional movie theaters are also being forced to make this change, which will effectively put an end to 35 mm film prints and projectors nearly across the board.  

From Project Drive-In's official site:

“In less than 3 months, the majority of American drive-in theaters will face closure with the movie industry’s switch from film to digital. Upgrading to digital projection costs roughly $80,000.

We want to preserve this iconic part of American car culture. So we’re taking the first step by starting a drive-in fund and donating 5 digital projectors. Your vote decides where they go.”

Damn technology!  I've wanted to experience a drive-in movie for the longest time and now that dream may slip away forever.  Progress has its price, sure, but the past should be preserved and revered.  It will be a sad day when the final drive-in is forced to close.  For information on saving your local drive-in movie theater and preserving this "iconic part of American car culture" for future generations, click HERE.

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SCREAM! Factory to Release Clive Barker's NIGHTBREED: THE CABAL CUT

SCREAM! Factory keeps on giving genre fans exactly what we want, and continues significantly depleting my bank account!  It was officially announced today that SCREAM! Factory will bring us Clive Barker's NIGHTBREED: THE CABAL CUT.  "The Cabal Cut" of the film reportedly includes over 45 minutes of previously unseen footage excised from the original theatrical and home releases of the film.  Clive Barker's full vision of NIGHTBREED will come to Blu-ray sometime next year.  An official release date has not been announced as yet, but I'm sure we can expect a loaded Collector's Edition release supervised by Barker himself.  I can't wait! What say you?

Desert Island Top 5 - Books

Again, you know the rules.  You're stranded on a desert island for an indefinite length of time.  You can only bring five books with you to help pass the time until you're rescued...or die.  Be sure to leave your own list in the comments section below.

1. American Psycho.  Patrick Bateman is wealthy, well-to-do and handsome.  He is also, in his own words, "utterly insane".  Bret Easton Ellis's ultra-controversial novel chronicles in excruciating detail the minutia that dominates Patrick Bateman's existence.  Whether it be the style of suit he wears, the elegance of his business card or the shocking methods in which he tortures and murders prostitutes.  The novel (and film on which it was based) has been called a scathing satire on the shallow decadence of the 1980's.  Bateman's own sad existence is such a hollow void that he turns inward, discovering that the only joy he receives is from the pain he inflicts on others.  Or was it all just in his head?  By the end of the novel, the reader, much like Bateman himself, is left to wonder.

2. Lord of the Flies. William Golding's classic novel is the story of a group of English schoolboys who are plane-wrecked on a desert island and must fend for themselves until rescue arrives.  At first they work together, gathering food, building signal fires, etc.  Soon, however, as the hope of rescue dwindles, so does their sanity.  Hunters become the hunted, the innocence of youth is squandered and children must quickly begin making adult decisions in order to survive.  Few books pack the emotional and philosophical depths as Lords of the Flies.  The novel is haunting and unforgettable in its unflinching depictions of young men faced with death and the realization that their childhood is over.  I quote a moment from the novel in which Simon, clearly a Christ-like figure, is staring down a severed pig's head that's been impaled on a stick and is being swarmed by flies: "The [pig's] half-shut eyes were dim with the infinite cynicism of adult life."  Deep!

3. The Stranger.  Author Albert Camus' disarming and haunting tale of a disaffected man who finds himself on trial for murder.  The novel, like the central character and narrator, is minimalist and emotionally detached. The first half of the book finds the character being informed of his mother's death, a fling with a female co-worker and the drama he finds himself inexplicably embroiled in involving a pimp and a Arab that lands him in prison for murder. He is just as much on trial for his deficient character in the second part of the novel as he is for murder.  The plot is simple, but the novel's themes are anything but and are just as resounding now as they were when the book was first published in 1946.

4. White Noise. Following "an airborne toxic event" caused by a chemical spill resulting in the evacuation of their small town, a mild-mannered, if not somewhat detached, college professor and his family must come to terms with their own mortality in Don Delillo's White Noise.  The novel explores our culture's fascination with death, our reliance on technology and the brainwashing effects of mass media. Delillo's masterful prose and demand on the English language adds indescribable character and depth to the novel.  It's elegant, bleak, ironic and, ultimately, unforgettably.

5. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.  Christopher Boone is a fifteen year old with Autism. He spends his time solving complex mathematical problems in his head.  He hates to be touched.  He relates more to animals than people.  He strives on routine and order.  But after finding his neighbor's dog impaled on a garden fork, his world is upturned.  Christopher sets out to track down the dog's killer, but to do so he must venture out into a world he doesn't fully comprehend.  Encouraged by his social worker, Christopher decides to write a book chronicling his investigation, and the result is The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time.  The novel is a murder mystery of sorts, but more a character study of Christopher and the world as he sees it.  Christopher encounters deeply emotional situations throughout the novel, yet has no connection to his own emotions, making his reaction to any given scenario deeply moving, poignant and utterly fascinating.        

On Location in Blairstown: The Making of Friday the 13th

As if FRIDAY THE 13th fans didn't already have enough to look forward to this coming September with The Ultimate Collection Blu-ray Box set and Crystal Lake Memories documentary both hitting shelves on 9/13/13.  From publisher AuthorMike Ink and author David Grove comes On Location in Blairstown: The Making of Friday the13th. The book boasts never-before-seen production photos and interviews with both cast and crew documenting the production of the original FRIDAY THE 13th. Check out the full synopsis below:

"On Location in Blairstown: The Making of Friday the 13th covers the creation, planning and filming of the iconic 1980 film, Friday the 13th in a way that no other film has been documented before. Through the memories of the cast and crew, many speak for the first (and last) time, as well as previously-undiscovered production information and materials, On location in Blairstown takes the reader "on location" and back in time to 1979 for the filming of Friday the 13th and behind the scenes for all of the adventures, conflicts and dramas that went into the making of one of the most enduring and popular horror films in history."

The book is available for pre-order now with a street date of 9/13/13.  Will the book shed any new light on the film that hasn't already been covered, re-covered and then covered again?  Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

To pre-order On Location in Blairstown: The Making of Friday the 13th click HERE.

Check out the book's official website HERE.

Funko Blind Box Horror Figures - Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, Michael and MORE!

Fans of horror collectibles (of which I am one) can look forward to Funko's newest creation, Funko's Blind Box Mystery Minis.  The series includes all of our favorite horror icons, including Jason, Freddy, Leatherface, Michael Myers, Chucky, Jigsaw and others.  For those not familiar with the "blind box" concept, you basically have no idea which figure you're getting until you open it.

There is a total of 16 figures in all, with 10 variant designs, each standing 2.5" tall.  The set will be available in stores 8/15.

Sounds pretty cool, huh?  Check out all the figures included in the set below.  We get a number of variant designs including an NES version of Jason (which glows in the dark), a stitched-face Chucky and blood-covered Leatherface.  I'M IN!

STREET TRASH (1987) Blu-ray Review

Enter the world of hobos, derelicts, the unwashed and the criminally insane with Synapse Film's newest Blu-ray release, STREET TRASH, directed by James Muro and written by Roy Frumkes.  Street Trash is the saga of a group of derelicts living in a junkyard under the merciless rule of a psychotic Vietnam vet.  Plot number one.  When several derelicts turn up mysteriously liquefied, the police come down hard on the derelict community in search of answers.  Plot number two.  It turns out the local liquor store has been selling a new hooch called Viper, and at just one dollar a bottle, even the hobos can indulge. Unfortunately for them, drinking Viper has some very fatal side-effects.  Plot number three.  Oh, and there's gang rape, a scene of implied necrophilia and a game of keep-away involving an errant, excised penis!

While STREET TRASH has its fill of rather nice special effects work involving the gross, yet colorful demises of those sampling Viper, cheesy dialogue and memorable (memorably sick) characters, it's the fact that the multiple plots run together instead of coalescing into a single coherent story that makes the film difficult to follow.  The emphasis on character development also weighs down the middle of the movie after a strong opening, and by the third act it's just sort of a mess. What is Viper? Where did it come from? Why is it turning bums into puddles of neon goop?  We never find out.  Instead the movie resolves itself with a long chase and awkward fight sequence involving the junkyard king, Bronson, and our "hero bum" Fred, the only derelict with, at least, some semblance of humanity, yet manages to remain totally unsympathetic.  Did I mention the part about the errant penis?

For me STREET TRASH was a reminder of the kind of films that filled the void after horror had sputtered out in the latter part of the 80's.  Along with films like Frankenhooker (watch my review here) and Brain Damage, STREET TRASH took a hard left toward far less commercial territory.  Despite its flaws, I had a good time with STREET TRASH overall.  It's low budget, but high concept, chock full of black humor, cheese and some rather nice gore effects.  It's sick, twisted fun.  I say check it out.

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BLU-RAY DETAILS:

The HD transfer is fantastic!  The image is crisp and clear, with vivid colors and rich textures throughout.  The audio quality is hit and miss, however, as some character's voices are less discernible than others.  We get two audio commentaries from producer/writer Roy Frumkes and director James Muro.  The original STREET TRASH 16mm short film that inspired the movie is a quick interesting watch.  "The Meltdown Memoirs" is an exhaustively detailed featurette chronicling the making of STREET TRASH.  Rounding out the extras, we get 5 deleted scenes and an interview with actress Jane Arakawa about her experience making the film.

Buy STREET TRASH here.

Check out Synapse Film's website here.

Fright Night 2: New Blood (2013) Official Trailer

Here's the trailer for the upcoming Fright Night 2: New Blood.  Although the 2011 remake, starring Colin Farrell, tanked at the box office and was reviled by fans of the 1985 original, Fox went ahead and greenlit this confused sequel for a straight to DVD/Blu-ray release this Halloween.  Check out the plot synopsis:

When high school student Charlie attends a study abroad program with his horror-obsessed friend “Evil” Ed and ex-girlfriend Amy in Romania, he soon discovers their young attractive professor Gerri (Jaime Murray, “Dexter”) is a real life vampire. Too bad no one believes him. In fact, Evil Ed finds it amusing, and it only feeds his vampire obsession. When Gerri turns Ed, Charlie seeks out Peter Vincent, the infamous vampire hunter (well, he plays one on TV) who is in Romania filming his show “Fright Night,” to teach him how to take down Gerri before she gets to Amy, whose blood will cure Gerri of spending eternity as a vampire.

Now you see why I called it "confused".  Sounds less like a sequel and more like a remake of the remake or at least a low rent re-boot.  Anyway, check out the trailer for yourself and sound off in the comments section.